Modern Warfare 2 Map Pack is Overpriced and Redundant
1200 points for 5 maps seems like an okay deal until you notice that two of those maps appeared in the original Modern Warfare. It’s bad enough that Infinity Ward takes overly long in producing additional content to support their games, but it is far worse to re-charge for content you have already purchased (assuming your bought the first Modern Warfare). In a better world, Activision/Infinity Ward would release 3 new maps at 800 points, with Crash and Overgrown released as a free download. Then again, I’m not a money-grubbing, greedy exec staring at the bottom-line like a mental patient.
Pretty, Pretty, Pretty Good Chance Curb Your Enthusiasm Returning For 8th Season
It seems every year we are told that Larry David’s Curb Your Enthusiasm, which airs on HBO, is in its final season. Fortunately, neither Larry nor HBO have had the balls to actually cancel the show and it appears they are wavering once again, as Mr. David told a crowd at the William Paley Festival over the weekend there “..is a pretty good chance” HBO will renew the series. What might a new season of Curb bring? For starters, Larry David’s character drives a Prius, so Larry is considering working that into the storyline. Sucks to be Toyota.
The Ultimate Battlefield Bad Company 2 Multiplayer Strategy Guide: Part II
Welcome back to Part II of the Battlefield Bad Company 2 Multiplayer Strategy Guide! I’ve got plenty of additional tips, tactics and advice to dispense that will hopefully improve your playing ability and make you a role-model for society, or at least a deadly teammate. If you somehow managed to bypass Part I, then you can find it right here.
I have also written an article titled When Bad Players Ruin Great Games, which is all about the dumb things players do in Bad Company 2 that ruin the experience for everyone else. You will hopefully find some useful information there and if not, you’ll at least know you’re not alone in feeling very frustrated with players who don’t quite grasp the Battlefield concept.
Okay, enough intro, let’s get down to business.
Playing the Medic
The Medic can make all the difference between you team losing or winning, assuming the person playing a medic knows what he or she is doing.
Your Role: You are a support class so you should play as one, which means not leading a charge into an enemy base, as your death will be of no benefit to anyone except the other team. Instead, stay behind you squad or teammates, dropping medkits in locations where your squaddies or teammates are currently staging a battle. You’ll accrue a ton of points for healing injured players if you’re placing your medkits in a useful, accessible location. Always drop a medit in a defensive location, like within a building that houses an objective, because you know fighting will be taking place sooner or later.
The Effective Medic: By trailing your squaddies or teammates, you can easily spot who needs healing and drop a medkit to alleviate their pain and suffering. More importantly, when a fellow player goes down for the count, the medic can fly into action and revive the fallen soldier with the Defibrillator. If you’re dead, you’re of no help or use…so don’t die by being overly aggressive.
Help Bring Down Helicopters: The Medic is typically outfitted with a machine-gun, capable of firing a ton of sustained rounds for extended periods of time. This makes the Medic an especially effective class at bringing down helicopters. You’ll need to master the art of leading your target, which means you should be firing your gun slightly ahead of the target’s flight-direction. You’ll know you’re hitting the copter when your crosshair briefly flashes with an X symbol.
A Word on Reviving: Medics are great and all but they can also be a major pain-in-the-ass. I speak specifically of the Chronic Reviver. This is the medic who revives you in the middle of a battle while all hell is breaking loose, only to watch you die again with seconds. Then he revives you again. You die again. Repeat this process over and over.
While this may be great for the medic, who is racking up points for every revive, this is extremely annoying for the poor bastard who has no choice in the matter. So please, for the love of all that is Holy, make sure your immediate area is relatively safe before reviving a fallen player. At the very least, lay down some cover fire after a revive so your disoriented zombies have a few seconds to get acclimated.
The Medic’s Weakness: A lot of people complain that the Medic is overpowered. Of course, a lot of people complain that every class is overpowered and it’s always the class they seldom play. However, the Medic does have one glaring weakness whose impact is felt on the battlefield even though it isn’t obvious: they are powerless against tanks. When a tank comes rolling up, the Medic can only stand there and lob a futile grenade.
Mortar Strike
The Mortar Strike is a Recon ability and can be quite punishing when used effectively. It can be used for a variety of situations, like softening up an enemy position, inflicting damage on tanks and vehicles, and removing roof-mounted weapon emplacements.
There is one additional use that is quite effective, though I seldom see it used, which is too bad. When playing Rush mode and your team has successfully begun the bomb-timer, wait a few second and call in a mortar strike on the location of the crate. When timed properly, this will kill any and all enemy combatants attempting to stop the bomb-timer. This is a great way to secure an objective and, if nothing else, buys your team some valuable time.
Mortar Strike Versus Tanks: The effectiveness of a Mortar Strike on an enemy tank has everything to do with the skill/awareness of the tank driver. A Mortar Strike really doesn’t do much damage unless the tank is sitting still. In that case, a Mortar Strike can easily destroy the tank. On the other hand, a driver with half a brain should be moving the tank out of the impact zone, suffering a ¼ of the damage usually inflicted.
Competition to Create Best Message to Send to Aliens Reveals a Very Depressed, Cynical Earth
In order to celebrate the 50th anniversary of SETI (Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence), England’s Telegraph newspaper asked readers to submit what they would like to communicate to aliens before the visit Earth. Expecting wonderful, uplifting notes extolling our virtues as humans, the Telegraph was shocked to discover the opposite, with the overwhelming majority asking for aliens to please put us out of our misery.
For what would he learn about mankind? First, that we are vicious, creatures who have already done a great job of wrecking our home. “Please kill us now … have no mercy,” urged a gentleman from Indiana. “We are evil and you must defend yourself.”
“Keep away from this planet,” agreed Pamela from Sicily. “Mankind is only intent on depleting, abusing and destroying [it]. They will do the same to yours should they find it. Mankind is the worst virus in the universe. You have been warned.”
Nick from Calne was equally blunt: “If you manage to work out how to travel to us, don’t bother, as we’ll probably probe you, try to blow you up or worse still, steal your technology and invade… Have a nice day.”
Rob from Georgia, meanwhile, was prepared to throw the rest of mankind to the lions: “Dearest Aliens, If you choose to conquer Earth, please do not kill or enslave those of us who can name all 12 men to have walked on the Moon. We are the ones worth keeping around.”
Seema from Elgin had a compelling reason for ET not to bother with us: “If you’re planning to visit our planet, please know you will need to remove all metal from your person, take your shoes off and submit to a full body scan, carry all liquids/gels/aerosols in clear plastic bottles no bigger than 3.4oz, surrender all cigarette lighters and batteries, pack all jams and jellies (but pies can be carried on)… Oh, yes. Welcome to the Earth!”
Fantastic Music Video Pays Homage to Art Masterpieces
L’Ogre has created a wonderful music video for the song 70 Million, by the band Hold Your Horses! In the video, various art masterpieces are recreated with stunning accuracy, creating a beautiful montage of creativity.
70 Million by Hold Your Horses ! from L’Ogre on Vimeo.
Blindfolded Girl Puts Star Wars Figurines in Mouth, Successfully Detects Identity of Toy
The benchmark for useless talents is constantly shifting, evidenced by this video of a German game show. Here we see a young girl, blindfolded, with the uncanny ability to detect the identity of a Star Wars figurine by simply placing it in her mouth. I will leave the erotic ramifications of this talent to your own twisted imagination, but the video will clearly speak for itself. How does one stumble upon this ability? I guess we all have a purpose after all.
Oscar-Winning LOGORAMA Directors to Direct Ghost Recon Short Film
LOGORAMA was the winner at this year’s Oscars, taking the award for best animated short, a well-deserved win as LOGORAMA is brilliant from top-to-bottom. If you haven’t seen the short film, I have embedded it below. Video game publisher Ubisoft was so impressed with the work they have signed the directing duo of Francois Alaux and Herve de Crecy to create a short work for the recently announced Ghost Recon: Future Soldiers. Unlike their prize winning LOGORAMA, the Ghost Recon will movie will not be animated.
The film will be setup as a prequel to the game and will hopefully benefit from a rather sizable budget currently pegged at $10-million, which isn’t chump change. Adding another layer of quality is Tim Sexton, who will be writing the script. Mr. Sexton is best known for writing the screenplay for the science-fiction movie Children of Men.
[Oscars 2010 Mejor Cortometraje] – Logorama
Bad Company 2: When Bad Players Ruin a Great Game
I haven’t officially reviewed Battlefield Bad Company 2, though I’ll make my opinion quite clear: it is superior to Modern Warfare 2 in every respect. I’ll be presenting my case in a future article, one that will surely irritate MW2 fans clinging to brand loyalty. In the meantime, I have some issues with Battlefield Bad Company 2 that are driving me nuts and chances are you…yes you, are responsible.
World Wide Suck
Unlike most video games that are either great or not based upon its own merits, Battlefield Bad Company 2 is a truly great game, made less so by an abundance of players who don’t know their ass from their elbow. I’ve made an attempt to alleviate some of the rampant suck by writing a helpful multiplayer guide, which you can find here. Part II will be coming soon.
Unfortunately, most people who suck don’t know they suck and hence, their suckiness continues to evolve within an impenetrable bubble of suck. That would be fine if they were playing on their own private server, but they aren’t; they’re cooped up with me and I’m trying to win a round.
Let’s take a closer gander at how players suck:
What’s The Objective?
Bad Company 2 multiplayer has a pretty simple objective, depending upon the game type: either blow up or defend two crates within a zone in Rush, or capture and hold at least 2 out of 3 control points in Conquest. While this seems pretty freaking straight-forward, apparently these concepts are very difficult to understand for an alarming number of players.
If you are not actively engaged in either defending or assaulting crates or control zones, you are wasting everyone’s time who has an interest in playing the game as it is designed. I’m talking to you, the six snipers on the assaulting team, hiding up in the mountains for the entire duration of the round, taking pot shots at defenders who aren’t even busy defending. No team needs 6 snipers. That’s 6 people who will never assault the crate. Add to this a few people in tanks and a few more in a helicopter, and you’re left with only a few poor bastards (usually me) trying to penetrate enemy lines with zero support.
Let me make this real simple: When you are on the attacking team, you cannot win by killing more of the defensive team than they kill of you. It’s not possible. It’s doesn’t matter how many times you try or wish things were differently, it just won’t work. This isn’t Modern Warfare 2.
Typical Scene: I’m on defense. An enemy has penetrated the lines and managed to activate a crate. In a perfect world, several defenders would be converging on that area with guns blazing, removing hostiles and deactivating the bomb. This isn’t what I generally see.
Instead, I see people standing around, making no effort whatsoever. Or, if they make an effort, it is so half-assed as to be useless, like the dainty noobs who appear too frightened to enter a building because they might get killed so they hang around outside like a gaggle of drifters, waiting for god knows what until finally the bomb explodes, objective lost. Good work men. Try not to work up a sweat next time.
Where The F*&K Did You Get Your Pilot’s License, Phoenix University?
My balls shrivel every time I hop into a helicopter as a gunner or passenger, my life at the mercy of some pilot I don’t know. It’s like Chat-Roulette, you never know what is going to happen or what you’re going to see, but chances are it won’t be pretty.
Some people just aren’t born to fly. I’ll place some of the blame of this on DICE, who made no attempt to create a flight tutorial or practice area, two elements that would have gone a long way in reducing frustration. Because of this omission, players are left learning to fly in a live multiplayer environment and that means the rest of us get to be Guinea Pigs for your flight-training.
If you can’t fly, please don’t hog such a valuable asset. Learn by watching. Read the manual for controls. Adjust the controls from the options menu to better suit your style. Hell, just know the controls.
The absolute worst thing that can happen is a rookie pilot uses the helicopter as an expensive transport vehicle, landing the machine behind enemy lines, hopping out and doing whatever that noob is going to do. In the meantime, a crafty enemy simply jumps into the copter and takes it for himself. If he knows what he’s doing, that helicopter will now become a serious threat to the other team. Worse, the original team won’t gain access to another helicopter until the original is destroyed. This rule hold true for all vehicles, not just helicopters.
Every vehicle you abandon can, and will be, used against you. Either repair the vehicle or blow it up so it respawns. Don’t just let it sit around!
A word of advice on flying: don’t over-compensate. Little movements on the stick is all you need. Learn to hover first, controlling your speed by pitching the nose forward and back. Fly slow at first until you gain some insight.
More on Page 2
Ubisoft DRM Shows Its Ass in Weekend Collapse
Ubisoft’s misguided and universally despised Digital Rights Management system proved itself a complete failure over the weekend, depriving rightful owners of Assassin’s Creed II and Silent Hunter 5 the ability to play the very games they paid for. It would appear Ubisoft’s servers failed, an event everyone knew would happen sooner or later as a perfect illustrative example of DRM nonsense that harms no one but the paying customer.
Ubisoft, is all this bad press really worth these daily articles? Can you truly say you’ve sold more copes of Assassin’s Creed II and Silent Hunter 5 because of your new DRM scheme? Or have you pushed away even more customers and alienated loyal fans? It’s not too late to call the whole thing off and return to creating stable, relatively bug-free games that merit a purchase.
Over the weekend, two statements were issued from the UK Community Manager:
Ubi.Vigil (UK Community Manager): I don’t have any clear information on what the issue is since I’m not in the office, but clearly the extended downtime and lengthy login issues are unacceptable, particularly as I’ve been told these servers are constantly monitored.
I’ll do what I can to get more information on what the issue is here first thing tomorrow and push for a resolution and assurance this won’t happen in the future. I realise that’s not ideal but there’s only so much I can do on a weekend as I’m not directly involved with the server side of this system.
Ubi.Vigil (UK Community Manager): Due to exceptional demand, we are currently experiencing difficulties with the Online Service Platform. This does not affect customers who are currently playing, but customers attempting to start a game may experience difficulty in accessing our servers. We are currently working to resolve this issue and apologize for any inconvenience.
Revolt for iPhone Looks Very Impressive in New Trailer
Revolt is a twin-stick shooter (or twin-thumbs if you’re a stickler for accuracy) featuring some of the best graphics yet on the iPhone. Gameplay appears pretty solid for this type of genre and the feature list is very promising. Perhaps most impressive is that Revolt was made by only two people over 10 months of time.
Features:
- 8 Story Levels and 20 Survival Arenas
- 15 Weapons
- 8 Unique Enemy Types
- Weapon and Armor Upgrades
- Advanced Gameplay
- Destructible Environments
- 3 Difficulty Modes
- Kickass 3d Graphics
- Killer Music and Sound Effects
- High Score Leaderboard
